Last Morning
by circleof2
Summary: I wrote this before the 4th book came out. It's Bella's last day as a human. What happens? Can she go through with it?


Last Morning

It was a Saturday. A day I had been thinking about everyday since I met my soul mate Edward. I hated the word soul mate, even the finality of it seemed to breakable in -comparison to the invisible string that flowed out of my heart and into his - pulling us together like two rag dolls being stitched in embrace.

I rose clumsily, placing my bare feet on the cold hardwood floor. It sent a jet of cold electricity up my legs to my head. I yawned loudly and scratched the crown of my head. I realized that my long chestnut hair had caked itself to the left side of my head. I groaned at the imperfection of my appearance and tried to comb the hair out with my left hand. I should have expected this because it was me who decided to not blow dry my wet hair before bed.

Still kneaded my hair I walked over to the window and separated the curtains with my unoccupied hand. A smooth layer of steel gray clouds acted as its own impenetrable curtain for the sun. I sighed deeply. A typical day in Washington; what did I honestly expect? The weather was not going to change completely for one day just because today would be the last day I could walk in the sun in public. Besides Alice told me it was going to be overcast. I stood still for a moment looking out at that very particular hue of green that dominated the cedar and the moss covered stumps that littered the forest floor, though it was summer and the trees were not at their lushest, I could not deny the beauty of it all. I tried to remember desperately when the last time I saw the sun but my groggy mind could not do the complicated math required, so I decided that I should take care of my hair before Edward stopped by.

Usually, I did not spend much time in the bathroom, but since today was the last time I would have to wipe the sleep from my eyes, put on foundation or even use the toilet, I thought that I could spend an extra few minutes getting ready. I slowly traced my unremarkable human features with a careful hand. Feeling the warmth of my cheeks against my cold figures and wondering how quickly I would forget this quiet moment after tonight.

Now that it was happening I was having my doubts, like just before you go down the first drop of a roller coaster ride you have that split second realization that this might not have been a great idea. But do not forget to factor in Edward I reminded myself. Imagine him holding you hand, whispering 'It'll be alright.' so softly that his words were only for me.

I shook my head and briskly started to busy myself with my daily routine. I knew that being alone for the night would bring on this doubt and I did not want any of it. 'If Edward saw any of this in my eyes you know it would be used against me to postpone the event.' I warned myself, 'and that is not what I want.' With that I pulled my rebellious hair into a pony and marched back to my room for change out of my pyjamas.

When I walked back into my room he was already there rocking back in forth on the little rocking chair that sat in the corner. My stomach gave a little twist and my heart tried to flutter out of my chest. It was a credit to his beauty that I still reacted this way, though I quickly reminded myself, this would be the last time I would feel my heart accelerate. Edward smiled, he probably heard my hurt quicken before I even notice, then he glided over and kissed me on the forehead. 'Good Morning' be breathed. I melted and wrapping my arms around his stone neck trying to guide him in towards my lips. He allowed me, which was surprising and we stayed in this stand still moment allowing me to take it all in and remind myself all over again why I wanted this.

Too soon Edward pulled away and disappeared out the window leaving me in the middle of the room dumbstruck. I assumed he had to leave because Charlie was getting up. Sure enough a minute later, as I was pulling up my jeans, I heard a load yawn from his room. I decided I should make one last attempt at taming my hair before officially seeing Edward this morning so I quickly ran to the bathroom and grabbed my brush before Charlie went to take a shower.

I sat on my bed and looked around at my friendly childhood room as I methodically brushed my hair. 'Can I help' said a chorus of bells.

'If you really want to take on the challenge Alice, it's up to you.'

'Oh thanks Bella.'

She was now sitting beside me brushing my hair chattering away about wedding photos.

'Oh Bella they turned out so lovely.' She sighed deeply cherishing the memory. 'You looked so beautiful.'

'Really because I'm pretty sure that my two bridesmaids stole the show.' I grabbed the stack of photos that resting on her lap and started to flick through them.

I was right. Both Alice and Rosalie looked like Aphrodite and Demeter in their classic jade dresses. Edward's perfection was duplicated on film as well. For me I looked even plainer in comparison - like a tacky tourist standing in front of a European fresco. I looked away quickly so Alice would not notice my disgust. Fortunately, she mistook my look for unease.

'No need to be nervous Bella. Everything will turn out fine. It's pretty clear.' Alice said in a tone reserved for newscasters. 'It goes as planned.' She smiled slightly and began to quickly whip my hair into a complicated up do.

'I do understand though. It the pain is well – you felt it so you know how it is.'

'Yeah, I remember it.' I shivered but it was not from Alice's frosty hands gathering the wispy strands of hair from the back of my neck.

'Edward will love this.' She glowed trying to change the subject. When your hair is up your sent is so much more powerful. She gave a big grin showing off her lovely ivory teeth. 'And now for that outfit, because you simply can't wear that. I mean honestly what look were you going for anyways?'

'Comfortable.' I shrugged.

'Your last day as a human and you choose a Mariners' sweatshirt and old jeans.'

'Hey Charlie gave me this when he went to Seattle last week. It's new. '

'It maybe new but he doesn't know your size. This is a medium in mens. Don't worry because I have just the thing.'

She was gone. I waited for her return, which was about ten seconds, and this time reappeared at my side with a large array of bright summer clothing.

She made me try on at least ten different outfits ranging from simple t-shirt and jean skirt ensembles to sophisticated designer blouses and skirts. It reminded me of wedding shopping all over again. But I took the abuse - acting like her life-sized Barbie doll.

'I envy your long hair.' She mused as tousled her own short jet black hair. 'You have so many different things you could do with it.'

'I guess –'

Charlie walked into the room. Alice arranged her face into a heartbreaking smile. 'Good Morning Charlie!' She chimed.

'Oh, hi there Alice. I didn't think you'd come over so early. Wont your parents be wondering where you up and went this early?' He tried to keep his work face in place but he could not help having the corners of his lips move upwards into a smile. It was obvious of Charlie's affection for Alice just like the bias he had for Jacob over Edward.

'It's alright chief Swan. I actually got a lift in from Carlisle. He had to go into the hospital to finish up some paperwork before the big trip. I thought I'd stop in and make sure she packed the right stuff for the hike, I mean let's face it, she's never really been on a hiking trip before.' She said this so perfectly that I had to remind myself that it was a well constructed lie and not the truth.

Charlie chuckled to himself. 'True you are Alice. Well I'm going to be off. Take care Bells. I'll see you in three weeks.' He tightened his gun belt, smoothed out his uniform and patted me on the shoulder before heading down the stairs. I moved the window and watched him pull the cruiser out the drive way. If he only knew that would be the last time I would ever see him.

Tears pooled on my bottom lashes until they started to flow silently carving paths along the slopes of my cheek bones. Alice comforted me silently by forming a cage around me with her arms like the cold iron jail bars that was in my fathers' station. I rested my salty chin on the top of her head and smelled her own personal sweet perfume wafting upward.

'Oh Alice,' I croaked. 'It'll hurt him so much. Can you take care of him for me while I can't?'

'Of course I will Bella.' She tightened her vice on me a little more. 'Esme and I will make sure he'll be fine.'

She let go and looked at me directly in the eyes with absolute confidence. 'I know you worry Bella, and I know there is little for me to do to change that, but I want to know that we take our duty to make sure Charlie is safe as seriously as we did to keep you out of danger.'

I nodded, not having a choice not to believe her. I doubt she knew the power those liquid arbutus eyes had on me. After all, they were the same as Edwards'.

'I can't image how hard it is to say goodbye. You know you don't have to do this.' She reminded me.

'You sound like Edward.' I mocked taking the by sleeve of the Mariners' sweatshirt off my bed and used it to wipe my eyes. 'I'm alright. This is what I want it's just not the easiest thing to do.'

'Nothing worth having is ever easy. You should go have breakfast while you can.'

'It's last meal of sorts.' I thought to myself. 'No, it was not a last meal. It was just the last meal before adopting a new diet. It was the last hamburger before becoming vegan.'

Alice had arranged herself by my bookcase. 'I can see Edwards' frustration of not reading your mind when you zone out like that. I should get going anyways. There are still lots of things to prepare. I'll see you later alright?'

I smiled. 'You know that better than I do.'

'That's true.' She grinned back at me before opening my window and vanishing into the humid morning air.

I closed the window before the sill collected condensation. Edward would want me to come downstairs soon. He might even be waiting outside the door, I could never tell. Still it was hard not to be in a pensive mood. I felt like it was my last day of work. I remembered a week ago when it was my final shift at the Newton's, and kept thinking 'this will be the last time I ever have to put on my apron, restock the hiking boats or sweep up the storage room dust bunnies.' This time it was far stranger. What person spends a day thinking that this is the last time I wake up, or cry, or eat? Perhaps a suicidal person would. I knew this day would have its own strange moments but I never thought they would be so philosophic.

'Bella, can I come in?' He said softly. 'Are you alright? Alice seemed a little worried.'

I should have known he was listening to Alice's thoughts.

'I'm fine just preparing myself mentally. Sorry for making you wait.'

'I've waited a hundred years and was never sorry once.'

I ran over to him but tripped on a strewn hardcopy of _Mansfield Park_ falling into his steady arms. 'I love you.' I said un-climatically.

'I love you too.' He pulled me to my feet, 'even if you are careless with where you place your personal possessions and your feet.'

I blushed. 'Thanks.' I muttered.

'Anytime my blushing bride,' He touched my cheeks with his cool precise hand. 'Let's get some breakfast.'

I ignored the bride comment. 'That sounds good.' I started for the kitchen.

'I'm not going to let you eat dry cereal and toast for breakfast. I'm taking you somewhere special.'

I sighed deeply. 'I should have known.'

Edwards' eyes sparkled with delight.

Edward had led me to a deserted coast line were large smooth stones and blue pacific waters blended harmoniously together. I had never been to this beach before and I was surprised that such a wonderful place was not a hotspot for campers and day trippers.

We were laying down side my side on warm beach stones watching the gulls circle around the whips of fluffy clouds.

'Thanks for the great breakfast. I've never had salmon cooked that way before.'

'Not all fish has to be battered and fried.'

'Only Charlie's fish.' I grinned.

I rolled over the stones so I was against his cool side. I was seeking shelter from heat of the near noon sun and he obliged by wrapping his arms around me.

'I'm going to miss this.' He said.

'Miss what?' I rolled over onto my other side to look at him.

'I'm going to miss you come to me for protection. The way your heart beats like the rhythm of a complicated song. The unruliness of your hair and,' he added guiltily, 'your sent.'

'I'm not going to miss the hair part.' I tried to flatten my hair, but the sea breeze kept playing with it.

Edward smiled with his teeth glittering like the sun off the ocean.

'Are you ready for this then? Are you ready to start a new never-ending life with this lonely vampire?'

'You are so silly.' I stood up quickly and steadied myself among the rocky beach by holding my arms out. 'I have weighted the pros and cons and I know I will never be able to live without you. I want to stay in this moment forever and by becoming a vampire I can.'

Edward nodded. It looked like he finally gave up and had accepted the fact that I was always going to be there.

'Let's go then. Carlisle is waiting at home for us.'

I nodded.

'Are you absolutely sure there isn't anything you want to do while you are still human?'

I nodded.

'What is it?'

I grabbed the front of his t-shirt and pulled myself hard into his lips. The kiss was long and felt like the kind of kiss two lovers saying goodbye would give each other. The tide stopped swaying and the gulls hung still in the sky. Time had frozen everything except the waves of emotion that kept me pulling myself further into him. I was never going to forget this moment that I said a final goodbye to my human life and welcomed in an eternity with Edward.


End file.
